you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
