Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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