real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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