A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
