So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
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There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
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Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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