I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
