What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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