i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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