Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
