dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
