What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
