Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
