The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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