I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I enjoy the company of your penis
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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