capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
where are you?
Hypothermia
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
