woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize