and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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