let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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