i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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