You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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