sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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