New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize