I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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