my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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