things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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