You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
