As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize