that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
