PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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