I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I party with great urgency now.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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