If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
