Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
