he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
