I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
