Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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