Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
