I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Let's get the cat blown out
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
