But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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