She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
