So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just puked most of my soul out..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
