Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
