i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
