Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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