Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
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Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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