just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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