HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
