The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
