Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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