so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
