I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
