i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
