I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
