you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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