i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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