he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
