Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
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whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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