I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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