hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
