Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh Iβm doing drugs but at least Iβm doing me?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize