There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
