Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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