remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
