Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
