I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize