I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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