We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
