He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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