Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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