Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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