Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
