I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
