bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
